the two sides of vulnerability

The call came out of the blue.  An acquaintance on the other line, shyly explaining the reason for her reaching out: she was currently in the middle of a physical situation that was similar to one our family had experienced, and she hoped we would pray.  And so I did, and I promised to continue to do so.  I hung up the phone and thought, "I should send her a card."

As typically happens with any nice thought like that, other tasks kept jumping in front of it until it was so far back in the line that it had to jump up and down waving its arms every once in a while so I didn't completely forget.  Probably weeks later, I finally got a card in the mail.

Months went by before I saw her in person to ask how she was doing.  She caught me up and then thanked me for the card, saying, "Yours was the only card I received."

* * * * *

We all live with burdens, and many of us hold them close and in the dark.  We hear that there is freedom and light in vulnerability, but the risk feels too great.  So we carry on like nothing is wrong, or we minimize the situation or feelings, or we go into isolation so that we aren't putting ourselves or anyone else in an awkward position.  If indeed we do gather enough bravery to share the deep thing with someone we hope will care, the tension grows more powerful.  Will the person truly hear the pain?  Will the person choose to walk through it with us?  Or will there be no response and the only thing left is a deeper sense of isolation?

* * * * *

On the other side are those of us being entrusted with someone's burden.  I have never had someone share a burden with me when I have been in my own time of burden-free living because, hello, real life.  Clearly, it isn't a smooth task to enter into someone's pain; it is a willful choice to invest.  Sometimes, the investment is simple, like a card and remembering the person in prayer.  Other times, the investment is complex, like pledging months of personal inconvenience to carry that burden with the friend.  Sometimes, we see that we truly aren't the person to walk the path with them, so we hang in there until we find out who is.  Because just as God did not create any of us to suffer in silence, He also did not create any of us to save the world for everyone.  That's why we need Jesus.

* * * * *

It has been nearly a year since that opening situation occurred, but it has lingered with me.  When I feel the gentle nudge from the Spirit telling me to do something for someone else, I am a little quicker to act now.  But also, when I have a burden I want to share with another but am stuck in hesitation, I remember her bravery.