There was a three-week window between the decision that set our move in motion and the final packing day. After not having moved in thirteen years and never having done so with children, we felt deeply unprepared. Our two biggest concerns were: a.) helping our children navigate through the transition as best we could, and b.) not forgetting to do something major. I dug into my happy nerd side and researched books that could guide us.
In the span of three weeks, one doesn't have time to make all the announcements, wrap up loose ends, pack up a six-person home, say all the goodbyes, register kids for a new school, make decisions about the new home, and thoroughly read two books. Which is why it was critical to find two books that didn't require exhaustive reads. These two books were written by women who have moved so many times that I cringed, so they both knew ain't nobody got time for that. Each book was organized into sections so that the reader could find the specific information needed for that moment and go.
Moving with Kids: 25 Ways to Ease Your Family's Transition to a New Home, Lori Collins Burgan
Big helps for me from this book:
- decisions children can help make to feel ownership
- throwing your own going-away party
- making a "last time" list (like the list of local restaurants your family wants to frequent one last time)
- the stages of grief for children
- having children put all their first priority items in their backpacks for immediate access
- unpacking your children's rooms first and stopping all other unpacking when children need you (because your children are your first priorities in your figurative moving backpack)
- how to teach children to make new friends
- love is what makes a house a home, no matter where it is
My favorite part that I still keep rereading:
"With time and adequate parental support, most children will move through denial, anger, bargaining, and depression and into acceptance. They will have learned some valuable lessons:
When we come upon a situation we can't change, we need to accept it and make the most of it.
Even good decisions can have painful consequences.
The love and support of one's family is invaluable.
True friends remain friends no matter how much time and distance separate them.
With the right attitude, there can be joy at the end of sorrow.
Your children's acceptance of a move doesn't mean that their pain and loneliness have gone away completely, or that they won't still miss the friends and places they have left behind. Rather, it means they have chosen not to let the pain paralyze them. They have decided to discover and embrace the new opportunities, friendships, and happiness that are waiting for them on the other side."
I skipped over the parts about what to do three months in advance, how to purge, how to buy a home, etc. and looked for the essentials that applied to our situation. My main helps included:
- how to pack hard-to-pack items
- final packing week checklist
- labeling each room so moving crew knows where to take each box
- list to "get new life on track" (DMV, doctors, etc.)
- comprehensive moving checklist (especially list for notifying change of address)
* * * * *
There are definitely some things I would do differently if I had a do-over, like actually following Martha Poage's advice about putting the cleaning supply box in the car instead of the moving truck (we found the cleaning supply box 2.5 weeks after moving), but I do think that the incredible prayer support we had and the guidance given by these books made our whirlwind of a move relatively smooth. Now I am tucking these two books into a package and mailing them off to a friend about to embark on the same journey. And here's to hoping that I don't have to ask for them back any time soon.
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