Purposeful: Yes to Now

When the calendar turned to 2013 and I saw the year ahead, free of long-term medical situations dictating all planning, I found myself feeling pressure to do something big.  To lay ground work so that in the fall, with a potential 9-hours-a-week to myself (our baby's headed to preschool come September), I could pursue passion and do something with my free hands.  

One-third through 2013, and I still don't know what the fall will look like - but the pressure is gone.  Because I've been reminded again that normal life is a gift.  In April, I had the privilege of wearing some hats other than wife/mom/worker, and I loved the grace of it all.  Juggling it was tricky, and I lived out the tension of ideal vs. real all over again - but it was all a gift.  

Now May is here and I am thrilled by all it brings.  Spring.  Sun.  Baseball.  Familiar roles.  Behind-the-scenes work.  The peace of being wife and mom, with the luxury of time to devote to both husband and children.  

So I purpose to say yes to now.  Yes to this season, to work that doesn't get seen as "big" but matters in layers of depth and legacy.  Yes to the to-be over the to-do.  Yes to being quick to listen and slow to speak, to celebrating the positives of strong personalities, to living relationships intentionally.  Yes to snuggles and naps, to discipline that leads to self-control, to moving the husband up on the priority list.  Yes to taking risks and dreaming big, but only to what God sees as key for now and for the future, not to what I on my own have set-up as the short- and long-term goals.  

And when I don't say yes like I intend?  When I am too aware of yet another failure, where "getting things done" rivals loving God and people?  I purpose to say yes to grace.  Yes to another opportunity to see strength in weakness, to show myself and those watching that I need Jesus everyday.

"Life is a God-given opportunity to become who we are ... but most of all, to say YES to the One who calls us The Beloved, ... the great YES to the love that has been given to us and in so doing return to the One who sent us with that YES engraved on our hearts."  ~Henri Nouwen

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A fantastic evaluative tool for me has come from something I once read by C.J. Mahoney.  He said to ask our children, What do you think your Daddy and Mommy feel most passionate about?  "If Jesus doesn't come to mind, they may have picked up that we really care about avoiding embarrassment over their behavior, having a clean house, etc."

Every once in a while, I ask my kiddos that question (though each age and stage requires varied creative wording for understanding).  Recently, Toby highlighted being with your kids and getting things done as right up there on my priority list.  Ish alluded to how much I delight in washing dishes.  Eli was certain that I get excited about puzzles (because he does).  Doing this exercise in these early years of parenting brings much sweetness, viewing life through the kids' young (and egocentric) eyes - but it also brings a centering focus to what truly matters.