Thinking about Comparison

I've been doing some research on women, comparison, and being real.  It will probably show up here in some form eventually, but for now, here is a re-post from 2009 that has one of my favorite quotes regarding comparison.  

{And a freebie quote: "Be yourself.  Everyone else is already taken." ~Oscar Wilde}

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High school senior year, AP English. Our minds were full of concerns regarding college applications, scholarships, class rankings. Every assignment that our teacher presented was met with similar questions: How many pages does it need to be? What is the minimum number of footnotes that we must have? What if we take the angle of the protagonist - does that still meet the objectives? To which our teacher would throw up her hands and respond, "Oh, you A-MONGERS!" and go on a little tirade about how we were more concerned with getting an 'A' than with doing our best or getting the most out of the assignment.

Recently, I realized that the A-Monger is still in me, but the absence of a grading scale has caused me to get destructively creative. Without another's rubric, I look at others. The woman whose life seems so organized and calm. The woman whose life seems to breathe fun adventure. The woman whose life seems filled with magnificent purpose. The woman whose children rise up and call her blessed. And on and on and on. Then, I create this ridiculous picture of an 'A' in my mind, hold my own life up to this nonexistent 'A' woman, and get frustrated with my comparative score.

This whole action is so silly and futile. After all, I have never met a person who is the ideal 'A' woman because it took a host of women to come up with my composite. However, I wasn't able to really see the futility until I read this statement:

“When we compare ourselves with someone else, we can never measure up because we compare our insides with their outsides.”  ~Renee Swope

That just smacked of truth! Consequently, I began to analyze the role of comparison in my life and really started to see how much comparing took away from me. When I am busy trying to measure up to the 'A' woman, I miss out on who I am. I miss out on rejoicing in the feeling of doing my best. I miss out on making the most of the task. I miss out on the contentment of doing what Jesus has put before me. And, as much as it pains this A-monger to say it, even if I were ever to earn the 'A', it wouldn't satisfy. I would probably start compiling some A+ standard, as perfectionism is vicious and unending.

In complete honesty, I must say that, despite making this realization, I am still struggling with my A-monger tendencies. I am a first-born female perfectionist and will struggle with comparison my entire life. However, today I am walking in who I am a little better than I was yesterday, and I feel the pleasure of taking that one small step away from stringent self-expectations, that one step closer to the contentment of being who God created me to be: ME.

"The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He
will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17