Guest Post: Anne

Anne, Ish's foster mom

This week, we are so happy to have Ish's foster mom write a guest post. Ish lived with Anne for nearly a month, and you will see as you read her post how she plays such a special part in so many families' lives. Here is one reason why she is so special to our family:

I remember the 2nd day I had him (Ish) I took him for his echocardiogram. I laid down beside his tiny body (all 5 lbs of him) and held his tiny hand, he never cried, just looked at me as if to say, "is this OK, will you stay here"? Well, that was it for me. I never left his side until he went into your arms. What a wonderful baby!! God has plans for him.

Here is Anne.

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As I await the arrival of my 75th baby to arrive, I am struck with awe at the amazing gift being a foster parent has been for me. I began this journey in 1992, never even dreaming of the wonderful opportunities I would encounter.

I decided to be a foster parent to newborns awaiting adoption to “fill” in for someone who could no longer do it; at the time, I had babies for weeks or months before they were placed so I had time to bond and care for them and see their personalities develop. The letting go is for me, the most special part because it means that these babies are well on their way with a secure attachment and leave me for their forever home and lives.

I grew up in a family with unconditional love and I wanted to pass that along to others and being a foster parent to a newborn was the perfect way for me as a single woman to demonstrate that love and support. It just made sense to me. I try to make every day special and to pass along to the adoptive family every waking and sleeping moment from the time they come to me until the time the baby leaves. I document with my own “lifebook” and photo album, sometimes sending a favorite toy or stuffed animal and of course, I find the exact perfect outfit for the baby to wear on his/her most important day of their young life.

I continue to be surprised at how many people look at adoption. In particular, they ask, “how can the birthmother/family” give that baby up. My answer, we have not walked in their shoes and I would imagine it is the most unselfish act a woman or birth family can do. I stand in awe of the sacrifice and I cannot judge – only admire.

I have met many birthmothers who have shared their story with me in my role as a foster parent and I pledge my support of them and utmost care for their baby. If possible, I send them pictures, if they want that. For me, it is acting like a bridge from one family to another.

I wish more people in general knew the incredible strength it takes to either place a baby for adoption or to seek to adopt. It is not for the faint of heart, it is a long and difficult road with many ups and downs, sacrifice and joy all rolled into one. My role is just a small part of a very important time in the baby’s life but I take it seriously. The training alone is strenuous and ongoing that requires a commitment of time and energy. The payback is amazing. There is no financial gain in this, I am a volunteer and I see this as a service to God and His people. That is enough for me.

There are challenges in all this but they pale in light of the gifts I receive when a baby who has been sick or cranky finally seems content or when I can solve a feeding issue or when I haven’t slept in many days and the baby smiles – all is well again in the universe. The joys far outweigh any difficulties and the biggest gift is meeting the baby’s new and forever family for the first time, handing that baby to them and saying, “meet your son/daughter”. For me, there is no greater reward.

I see the public’s attitude toward adoption growing favorably in recent years. I don’t see the stigma of years ago that was present and I see many happy and adjusted children thrive in their environment. As a social worker by day, I work with children and adults who have been adopted and they are usually in a good space with it all. There are many good books written now to explain adoption to children and when it is done well and with insight and compassion, the outcomes are good.

I love being able to follow the babies over the years, to see them grow and mature and be happy. I keep a picture and small journal of each and every one of them, just to remember the moments that we shared, brief as it may be. It is an honor and a privilege to share in this most intimate part of a person’s life and I am blessed beyond measure.