I have this distinct memory from third grade. My classmate Michael Jackson (real name, just a bit younger and not as infamous as the original) turned toward my desk and said, "What happened to you?" Confused, I said, "What?" To which he responded, "You know, your black eyes!"
Some people are able to mask their fatigue, but I am blessed with these tell-tale, color-coded indicators called undereye circles. And evidently, even my embarrassingly-early 7:30pm third-grader bedtime wasn't enough to banish them. Fast-forward 20 years, and, well, I look like I met another famous Michael, as in Mike Tyson.
The past two years have been tricky in the sleep department for me. Not because of any sleep disorder or terrible life-happening, but simply because I am a mom of boys who evidently are passionate that I should feel needed at numerous points in the night. Which is sweet. Unnecessary, but sweet.
The past few days I have felt a little less patient, a little less able to tolerate exuberance and noise, a little less in control of projecting the picture of myself that I would selfishly desire others to see. And in the midst of a baking experience yesterday afternoon with two boys and lots of flour, I caught myself in this little less state. Funny how sleep deprivation can be used to show us that there is more garbage to be dealt with in our hearts.
Right now, it looks like I'll be black-eyed for a while. That's ok - I chose into this situation. Which is a luxury, really, in light of what some of my friends are going through, in the reality of world suffering, and in consideration of the length of life and the reward at the end. My dark circles are really just bearing testimony to blessing and giving me more opportunity to ask Jesus to make me more patient, more tolerant, more Spirit-controlled, more like HIM.
Some people are able to mask their fatigue, but I am blessed with these tell-tale, color-coded indicators called undereye circles. And evidently, even my embarrassingly-early 7:30pm third-grader bedtime wasn't enough to banish them. Fast-forward 20 years, and, well, I look like I met another famous Michael, as in Mike Tyson.
The past two years have been tricky in the sleep department for me. Not because of any sleep disorder or terrible life-happening, but simply because I am a mom of boys who evidently are passionate that I should feel needed at numerous points in the night. Which is sweet. Unnecessary, but sweet.
The past few days I have felt a little less patient, a little less able to tolerate exuberance and noise, a little less in control of projecting the picture of myself that I would selfishly desire others to see. And in the midst of a baking experience yesterday afternoon with two boys and lots of flour, I caught myself in this little less state. Funny how sleep deprivation can be used to show us that there is more garbage to be dealt with in our hearts.
Right now, it looks like I'll be black-eyed for a while. That's ok - I chose into this situation. Which is a luxury, really, in light of what some of my friends are going through, in the reality of world suffering, and in consideration of the length of life and the reward at the end. My dark circles are really just bearing testimony to blessing and giving me more opportunity to ask Jesus to make me more patient, more tolerant, more Spirit-controlled, more like HIM.
"The Joy of the Lord is your STRENGTH."
Nehemiah 8:10
Comments
Post a Comment
{Please help us maintain a little bit of internet anonymity by not including our last name in your comments.}